We have all been sick. Anna missed almost an entire week of school last week. This is the first time she has really been sick since moving to America. Now, Nick, Zach and I are getting what she had. I suspect it is the dreaded swine flu, but I do not know for sure. Not really too much that we can do except treat the symptoms and let it run it's course.
My mom had knee replacement surgery last week. This has really thrust me into the role of that sandwich generation... those of us that are taking care of parents and kids at the same time. I am not sure how to always manage it. My mom and dad live about 3 hours from me. I have an aunt that helps out, but since I am the only child, most of the responsibility falls on my shoulders. I am not complaining, but it is a fairly new era in my life. I am thankful that I have my health and resources so I can be there to help take care of my parents.
There is something a little sad when the transition occurs from child to caretaker. I guess we always imagine our parents a certain way and when that begins to gradually change it is a little heartbreaking. It reminds me of the circle of life and despite our wishes, aging is a fact of that circle of life. I hope I am able to always care for my children and parents and be there for them when they need me most.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Peggy
I just wanted to follow up with another update since I took a blog hiatus for the summer...
Most of you know I was adopted. I have written about that experience, as well as my birthfather and my birthmother. Adoption has always played an enormous role in my life. August 11th, Peggy, my birthmother passed away. She has battled numerous health problems for many years, but I do not think she was ever able to get over the loss of my birthsister, Kelly, in 2007. Her broken heart never recovered.
After much prayer and discussion, I decided against attending her funeral. She and I always had a very private relationship. It is a fine line, as an adoptee, to try and decide what is "proper" in this situation. I did not want to cause undue stress on anyone by my presence. So, I made the decision to honor Peggy privately and remain home with my family. I am thankful we were able to have the time we had together... that I was able to meet her 18 years ago. I will miss talking to her, but I am thankful she is no longer in any physical pain. I will leave you something Peggy wrote and which was read at her funeral...
I thought about my schedule; 4 days a week I go for dialysis, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, Sunday I spend with my husband and Tuesday and Thursday I schedule the other doctor’s appointments. It dawned on me, I spent all my time trying to stay alive, but I spent no time whatsoever on living. I had left no time for me. Perhaps this was the reason for my discontent and restlessness.
I quickly resolved to make changes. I decided to make Thursday my day. I never schedule any doctor’s appointments on Thursdays. I do whatever I want on Thursdays. If I want to lie in the bed, watch soaps and eat bon-bons, that’s exactly what I do. If I want to visit my cousins who live about an hour away in the country and pick blackberries, that's what I do. If I want to visit cousins who live about an hour the other direction in a beach house and fish, sun or just boat ride, that's what I do. Luckily, I live in Texas and I have plenty of cousins. I can also do a jazzy lunch and the mall with friends. I do whatever I choose to do, after all it’s Thursday. It’s my day!
So, if you are getting overwhelmed with staying alive. Take stock and start planning a day to start living . And don’t forget next Thursday to stop and remember it’s not Thursday, it’s Peggy’s Day!
Most of you know I was adopted. I have written about that experience, as well as my birthfather and my birthmother. Adoption has always played an enormous role in my life. August 11th, Peggy, my birthmother passed away. She has battled numerous health problems for many years, but I do not think she was ever able to get over the loss of my birthsister, Kelly, in 2007. Her broken heart never recovered.
After much prayer and discussion, I decided against attending her funeral. She and I always had a very private relationship. It is a fine line, as an adoptee, to try and decide what is "proper" in this situation. I did not want to cause undue stress on anyone by my presence. So, I made the decision to honor Peggy privately and remain home with my family. I am thankful we were able to have the time we had together... that I was able to meet her 18 years ago. I will miss talking to her, but I am thankful she is no longer in any physical pain. I will leave you something Peggy wrote and which was read at her funeral...
Thursday.... by Peggy
One day after being on hemodialysis for 2 years, I stopped to take stock about myself. Like many other Dialysis patients, I have other health problems. In my case, I have diabetes, diabetic neuropathy, serious heart problems and asthma. Each of these problems requires a different specialist. Other patients have far more problems than I do requiring even more doctors.
I thought about my schedule; 4 days a week I go for dialysis, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, Sunday I spend with my husband and Tuesday and Thursday I schedule the other doctor’s appointments. It dawned on me, I spent all my time trying to stay alive, but I spent no time whatsoever on living. I had left no time for me. Perhaps this was the reason for my discontent and restlessness.
I quickly resolved to make changes. I decided to make Thursday my day. I never schedule any doctor’s appointments on Thursdays. I do whatever I want on Thursdays. If I want to lie in the bed, watch soaps and eat bon-bons, that’s exactly what I do. If I want to visit my cousins who live about an hour away in the country and pick blackberries, that's what I do. If I want to visit cousins who live about an hour the other direction in a beach house and fish, sun or just boat ride, that's what I do. Luckily, I live in Texas and I have plenty of cousins. I can also do a jazzy lunch and the mall with friends. I do whatever I choose to do, after all it’s Thursday. It’s my day!
So, if you are getting overwhelmed with staying alive. Take stock and start planning a day to start living . And don’t forget next Thursday to stop and remember it’s not Thursday, it’s Peggy’s Day!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Daniel
I know many of you have asked about Daniel and how he is doing. The short answer is I hope he is doing well. We no longer have contact with his new family, so I cannot really answer that. Last time we spoke to them... which has been many months ago... he was doing well. I am optimistic and hopeful that he is thriving as the only child in the home. His new mom is Russian and spent some time volunteering in some orphanages in Easter Europe, so I am confident she is more than capable to help Daniel begin to heal and grow in to a peaceful young man that we know he is capable of becoming.
Since our disruption, I have spoken with many people who have been through it, are considering it, have adopted from disruption, or decided against it. I can tell you there is no right or wrong answer. Every child is different, their needs are different and the dynamics of each family is different. There are things I wish had been handled differently with us and it has taken me a long time to get over the blatant lies we were told by the social worker, orphanage director and translator. I firmly believe that had we known Daniel's entire history, we could have advocated like crazy for him to find a home more suitable for him and spared him the pain of disruption. With that being said, I have put that behind me and laid it to rest. It does not serve any purpose to harbor on "what could have beens."
I think of Daniel often and miss him. The pain that comes along with knowing that love is not always enough is palpable. His 12th birthday was in July and I spent a lot of time wondering what he was doing. He is in our prayers and I continue to hold him close to my heart. I know we made the right decision for Daniel and for our family.
Since our disruption, I have spoken with many people who have been through it, are considering it, have adopted from disruption, or decided against it. I can tell you there is no right or wrong answer. Every child is different, their needs are different and the dynamics of each family is different. There are things I wish had been handled differently with us and it has taken me a long time to get over the blatant lies we were told by the social worker, orphanage director and translator. I firmly believe that had we known Daniel's entire history, we could have advocated like crazy for him to find a home more suitable for him and spared him the pain of disruption. With that being said, I have put that behind me and laid it to rest. It does not serve any purpose to harbor on "what could have beens."
I think of Daniel often and miss him. The pain that comes along with knowing that love is not always enough is palpable. His 12th birthday was in July and I spent a lot of time wondering what he was doing. He is in our prayers and I continue to hold him close to my heart. I know we made the right decision for Daniel and for our family.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Learning to Breathe
It is time... I need to return to the wonderful world of blog land. I have missed my bloggy friends and family.
Sorry for the unannounced hiatus. I reached my proverbial wall and just needed a summer to decompress. It is not always easy to blog about "life" when trying to sort through the emotions of the past couple of years. Disrupting Daniel's adoption was the most incredibly difficult thing I have experienced as a mom. It took me a while, but I realized that I was suppressing the pain. Looking back, I was just getting by the best way I knew how... which was not very effective... and impossible to put into words. Although I still struggle with the pain and the sense of failure... I have since cleared my mind and have begun to really heal. It feels really good to be able to enjoy life again... really live life. It was important for my other three kids that I get it together. Fun and laughter have returned to the household... and the thrill of raising three teenagers!
Hopefully I can continue my blogging journey and transition from an adoption journey to life with three teens in the house. I can hear my blog friends commenting how boring the look is... I will jazz it up when I have the chance... and can figure it out. In the meantime, boring is good for me.
Still here... learning how to breathe... and continuing my journey in and out of weeks...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Prom
Nick went to prom last weekend. Since his school is small, the entire high school is able to attend prom. Only the Juniors and Seniors are able to invite people from outside the school. Nick met Ally at the prom and they went as "friends." She is a Freshman.
I was so excited for him and glad he showed an interest in going. It was held in a banquet room on the 9th floor at the Speedway Club at Texas Motor Speedway. Nick said it was beautiful and it overlooked the raceway. (Maybe I can chaperone next year?!)
He was nervous, but persevered. Since he was meeting Ally at the prom, I dropped him off and he went in by himself. I thought they would have a professional photographer there, so I sent him with money for pictures... but there was not anyone there taking pics... so I got a few pictures of him at the house and Ally's mother took some of them at the end of the prom.
I am glad that there was a fashion trend in the early eighties where we wore skinny ties, because Doug was working and I had to tie Nick's tie.
All I can say is wrist corsages have come a long way from carnations on an elastic band. The florist did a beautiful job on Ally's corsage!
Nick and Ally. They look nervous in this picture... I keep forgetting they are only 14 & 15.
According to Nick, it was the "best night ever." He said they danced solid from 9 until midnight. Doug and I are very proud of him and beyond thrilled that he had such a good time. It does not seem that long ago when we were attending our own proms.
I was so excited for him and glad he showed an interest in going. It was held in a banquet room on the 9th floor at the Speedway Club at Texas Motor Speedway. Nick said it was beautiful and it overlooked the raceway. (Maybe I can chaperone next year?!)
He was nervous, but persevered. Since he was meeting Ally at the prom, I dropped him off and he went in by himself. I thought they would have a professional photographer there, so I sent him with money for pictures... but there was not anyone there taking pics... so I got a few pictures of him at the house and Ally's mother took some of them at the end of the prom.
I am glad that there was a fashion trend in the early eighties where we wore skinny ties, because Doug was working and I had to tie Nick's tie. 
All I can say is wrist corsages have come a long way from carnations on an elastic band. The florist did a beautiful job on Ally's corsage! 
Nick and Ally. They look nervous in this picture... I keep forgetting they are only 14 & 15.
According to Nick, it was the "best night ever." He said they danced solid from 9 until midnight. Doug and I are very proud of him and beyond thrilled that he had such a good time. It does not seem that long ago when we were attending our own proms.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Our New "Temporary" Family Member
Meet our newest (temporary) family member... Emma. Anna is taking a Child Development class at school and taking care of this life-like baby for a few days as part of her assignment. She was really excited to get Emma... who cries and giggles frequently. Obviously, there are no dirty diapers or food to feed, but Emma weighs about 8 pounds and Anna cannot really leave her out of her sight.
Anna has to insert her wristband in to the space on the back to quiet Emma when she cries. Emma cries about every 3- 4 hours, but I thinks she quiets down too easily.
I am glad Anna had this experience... although we keep reminding her it is VERY different when you have a real baby. I am not sure what kind of grade she will get, but she had a fun time with Emma.
It was a little disconcerting for me to see her getting on the school bus with a baby carrier. Hopefully it will be a long time before we see any baby carriers around here.
Anna has to insert her wristband in to the space on the back to quiet Emma when she cries. Emma cries about every 3- 4 hours, but I thinks she quiets down too easily. 
I am glad Anna had this experience... although we keep reminding her it is VERY different when you have a real baby. I am not sure what kind of grade she will get, but she had a fun time with Emma. It was a little disconcerting for me to see her getting on the school bus with a baby carrier. Hopefully it will be a long time before we see any baby carriers around here. Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter Fun
You are never too old to dye Easter eggs. The kids had a really good time coloring the eggs. Someone asked me if they were too big to hunt them and the answer is no... not if you fill them full of candy. Aside from a chocolate bunny, they had to hunt for their candy this year. We all know the way to a teens heart is through candy. Even at their age, it is still funny to watch them walk right past eggs that are hidden. The different ways they hunted the eggs were indicative of their personalities.
The new disposable containers for the dye are quite nifty. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
The new disposable containers for the dye are quite nifty. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Hello... Finally
Ok... I have had several people this week check in on me and make sure I am ok. Thank you for checking in... I am fine and the family is fine.
First of all, I HAVE NOT abandoned my blog for Facebook. They are completely different things and I really enjoy the support I get from my blog... it has gotten me through a lot.
Secondly, I have had major computer/blog issues and I have just now been able to log on to post. Part of that is my fault because I have not had time to correspond with the powers that be to resolve my issue, but it seems to be working now.
Today is the first day I have had off since Spring Break (other than the weekends). Doug's time and scheduling have completely changed at his hospital, so we are still trying to work out all of the "transportation of kids" logistics. Instead of beginning his work day at 8:00 am or pm, he is now working 6:30 am or pm. I come home from work and have to have dinner on the table by 5:15... and it is taking a while for me to get in to the new routine.
My boss has gone crazy with leasing, so that is what I am doing. Tracking people down all over the US explaining to them that they have a mineral interest they were not aware of. I deal with several types of people... really elderly people who have no idea what leasing entails, Trust Departments at banks, and individuals who have land in the Barnett Shale play and think oil leases in Cooke County should offer the same as a gas leases in Tarrant county. (The gas leases are paying $15,000 - $25,000 per net mineral acre with a 25% royalty and we (oil in Cooke) pays $50-$100 per net mineral acre with 3/16ths lease.... see the challenge???) Two totally different operations. Anyway, I am basically living the oil business 24 hours a day. There is light on the horizon and things should be slowing down soon.
Ok... so not to bore you too much, that is what has been occupying my time. I will provide an update on the kids later this evening or tomorrow. I just wanted to shout out a "howdy" and I am glad to be back... I missed everyone.
First of all, I HAVE NOT abandoned my blog for Facebook. They are completely different things and I really enjoy the support I get from my blog... it has gotten me through a lot.
Secondly, I have had major computer/blog issues and I have just now been able to log on to post. Part of that is my fault because I have not had time to correspond with the powers that be to resolve my issue, but it seems to be working now.
Today is the first day I have had off since Spring Break (other than the weekends). Doug's time and scheduling have completely changed at his hospital, so we are still trying to work out all of the "transportation of kids" logistics. Instead of beginning his work day at 8:00 am or pm, he is now working 6:30 am or pm. I come home from work and have to have dinner on the table by 5:15... and it is taking a while for me to get in to the new routine.
My boss has gone crazy with leasing, so that is what I am doing. Tracking people down all over the US explaining to them that they have a mineral interest they were not aware of. I deal with several types of people... really elderly people who have no idea what leasing entails, Trust Departments at banks, and individuals who have land in the Barnett Shale play and think oil leases in Cooke County should offer the same as a gas leases in Tarrant county. (The gas leases are paying $15,000 - $25,000 per net mineral acre with a 25% royalty and we (oil in Cooke) pays $50-$100 per net mineral acre with 3/16ths lease.... see the challenge???) Two totally different operations. Anyway, I am basically living the oil business 24 hours a day. There is light on the horizon and things should be slowing down soon.
Ok... so not to bore you too much, that is what has been occupying my time. I will provide an update on the kids later this evening or tomorrow. I just wanted to shout out a "howdy" and I am glad to be back... I missed everyone.
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